forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
