when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
