Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize