There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm at about main and main street
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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