my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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