So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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