I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
