I hate all girls vehemently.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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