You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
