nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
