But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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