So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
