sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
