i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Come on in and take your pants off
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize