So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
