worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
