we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
