How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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