She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize