I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
