Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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