that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
