He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
