you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
