So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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