Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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