I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
