She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
