I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
