not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
