I just saw a hot homeless man
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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