i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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