The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the raccoons are back...
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