who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
