so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
