so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
