I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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