Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
