i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
