I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
