guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
