You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Houston, we have a squirter
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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