And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
