peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
