Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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