Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My feet surprised me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
