Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
