We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
