You work out of a Hotel?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
