Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This is my gift to your gina
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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