Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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