A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And then he peed in my hair
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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