I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize