You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I enjoy the company of your penis
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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