Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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