she was so not down for the gang bang
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
