Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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