So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
