I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
