Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
