now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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