I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
