The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My ass is underappreciated
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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